Something Weird
by Elf-Stalker
Summary: Set during Something Blue. Willow says a few things differently during her 'My Will Be Done' spell, and Spike ends up in Middle Earth, surrounded by elves . . . . .Buffy-LOTR X-over fic, please R&R!!!!


Disclaimer: I do not own any or the Buffy characters or the LOTR characters, but I won't object to an early B-day present.  
  
AN: This is a Buffy-LOTR X-over ficlit. Takes place during Something Blue, if Willow had said a few things differently during her 'My Will Be Done' spell.  
  
Something Weird  
  
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Buffy was trying to comfort Willow, who had just been left by her boyfriend (Oz), when the phone rang. It was Giles.  
  
"Er . . . Buffy? There seems to be a problem." He said.  
  
"What is it?" Buffy said worriedly. She was not in the mood for another apocalypse.  
  
"Spike's escaped."  
  
"How? I mean, we had him chained up!"  
  
"I don't know how, but you better go find him."  
  
"Oh alright." Buffy hung up the phone. "Willow, Spike escaped. I have to go find him."  
  
"But I thought maybe we could spend some time together." Willow protested. "You know, a girls night."  
  
"I'm sorry." Buffy said. "I'll come back over as soon as I catch him."  
  
"Bufyyyyyyyyyyy." Willow whined. "He can't hurt anyone, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but . . . . ."  
  
"And it could take you forever to find him. I mean, he could be anywhere. He probably wound up in Middle Earth somehow."  
  
"Middle Earth?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'm reading Lord of the Rings . . . . ."  
  
* * *  
  
Spike found himself in the middle of a forest. It was night, and everything was lit with an eerie blue glow. It was completely silent, and the whole place had a sense of non-evilness about it. Spike spun around the other direction, looking around and seeing only more trees.  
  
"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL AM I??!!" He screamed at the empty forest.  
  
* * *  
  
There was a group of elves patrolling Lothlorien when Spike began shouting. Their leader motioned for them to find whatever it was.  
  
"I was right there. Turning the corner." Spike was no longer yelling, but he was talking loudly to himself. "And I look up and where am I? I don't bloody well know! I'm just turning the corner and - well hello." Spike said, noticing the group of elves who had just surrounded him.  
  
Spike looked at the elves, all tall, with long blond hair. "You're a nice bunch of poof's." He commented.  
  
The elves all raised their bows, and instantly there were 20 arrows pointing at him.  
  
"Well," he said, "Maybe not so nice."  
  
"He's not an elf." One of the elves said with scorn.  
  
"Or a hobbit." Offered another.  
  
"Definitely not a dwarf."  
  
"Are you a human?" The leader asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Some new form of orc?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well then what are you?"  
  
"I'm a VAMPIRE! What are you, an insane Tolkienite?"  
  
"Are you evil?" The elf asked, ignoring his question.  
  
"YES!" He shouted, as if it should be obvious. "I'm a vampire, of course I'm evil!"  
  
One of the elves shot him in the arm.  
  
"Ow! Watch it! That's my arm!"  
  
The elven leader raised his arm. "No shooting, we shall take this 'vampire' to the Lady Galadrial."  
  
They marched Spike through the forest, surrounding him so he couldn't try to run. Spike had two guards, who marched the whole time with their arrows pointed at him.  
  
Spike looked around him, noticing how all the elves were blond. "The worst thing about being a vampire," he told one of his guards, "Is that I don't have a reflection." He ran his fingers through his hair. "My roots are probably starting to show. Can I use some hair bleach? You must have some, you can't all be natural blondes." Spike was only answered with blank stares.  
  
* * *  
  
Willow was complaining to Xander. "Spike, Spike, Spike. It's always about Spike. Why don't they just get married?!"  
  
* * *  
  
When told that the Lady Galadrial did not wish to see prisoners at the moment, they brought Spike to Celeborn. 'Yet another blond.' Spike thought.  
  
"Is he evil?" Celeborn asked.  
  
"I'm right here! You could ask me." Spike yelled, interrupting one of the elves.  
  
Celeborn ignored Spike, and the elf finished speaking. "He says he is."  
  
"Well then I don't see what seems to be the problem." Celeborn said. "If he's evil then kill him." The elves raised their bows.  
  
Spike was wondering whether they would know that they had to shoot him in the heart, or if they would simply cover him in arrows until one finally hit the right place, and when they did, if they would be surprised when he turned into a pile of dust, when he found himself proposing to Buffy.  
  
"It's just so sudden, I don't know what to say." Buffy said.  
  
"Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth!"  
  
"Oh, Spike, of course it's yes!"  
  
'This has definitely been a weird day.' Spike thought as he and Buffy kissed passionately. 'Very weird.'  
  
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So, did you like my extremely random fic? Please review!!!!!! 


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